Of a cherry's need to blossom and a scarecrow's need to awaken
by nienie
Summary: Spoiler alert for manga up to 611, including all anime! Sakura's POV in the aftermath of the fourth and hopefully last shinobi war. There will be glimpes of this aftermath up to 6 years later. Rating is just to be sure. Ch9 up: Kakashi's life in short...
1. Reminiscing

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 1: Reminiscing**

_Period: six years after battle of the Allied Shinobi Forces_

Sakura glanced at the shinobi tasked to guard her on their long-term mission. Hatake Kakashi had always been her sensei first and foremost. Now trudging through the sand at an unhurried pace, she reflected on the many years that passed since she first saw that eraser fall on his head. She'd been so giddy back then, reveling in the mischief of a prank but unwilling to show it. She held pride in being outwardly respectful and the perfectly polite genin.

Every emotion back then had been colored in light of what Sasuke would think. Everything else was murky. Before she could dwell on how long Sasuke had been the center of her everything and how her decisions and life choices had been motivated by him, she shook herself and forced her thoughts back to the shinobi next to her.

She mostly remembered feeling annoyed with her sensei: his lateness, his stupid excuses, his indifference and mostly his unwillingness to be as in awe of Sasuke as she was… She owed him respect as her sensei, but she never quite managed to really _feel_ that respect. Even when she first acknowledged his true strength – that sharp and sudden bout of raw excitement during those first moments they faced Zabuza – it never lasted or transformed into actual lasting _respect_. But somehow he'd come to claim his place in her heart, as her sensei, later her teamleader and her patient and now her teammate and friend and sadly too often still her patient…

Sighing in nostalgia she was reluctant to remember too many details of her genin-days. Trying to keep her mind only on her memories of Naruto and Kakashi, and the other shinobi of her generation. It got easier after all these years, though unguarded thoughts of Sasuke and her Sasuke-centered behavior could still send pangs of hurt, regret and even some humiliation through her. She'd worn her heart on her sleeve back then, and in a way, she still did. Years had taught her to temper those feelings at least a little bit. At the very least she managed to hide them a little better.

Her train of thought brought her back to the fourth shinobi war. The first war she'd participated in, and hopefully last. The memories of the losses still made her mind boggle and her heart clench. Despite all the preparations they still lost more than half of their numbers. She still thanked Kami every day for the miracle that none of her important people had been taken in that war. Even though it had been touch and go with her sensei and shishou for a while and Yamato-taichou and Anko-sensei had been missing, she'd felt guilty relief that she hadn't gone through the same pain as her best friends Ino and Naruto.

Though thinking of Asuma and Jiraya these days didn't feel so depressing anymore. Although Sakura herself never had that much of a bond with either, she'd felt their loss keenly through the pain of those around her. Having had too many near misses with her own sensei and her shishou had made her even more sympathetic to this pain, and all the more grateful when they eventually pulled through.

Asuma-sensei had left a great legacy. His nephew, Konohamaru, took more and more after his uncle in looks and power every passing day, and had recently risen to the rank of jonin. Asuma's daughter was still in the Academy and Shikamaru was patiently awaiting the day when he'd become her sensei. Kurenai-sensei still held her jonin-rank as shinobi, but she remained primarily in Konohagakure performing various guard duties. Former team 8 and 10 kept close tabs on her. All in all there were bonds there that made a happy family even in Asuma's absence.

Jiraya's death had left Sakura with an acute feeling of powerlessness, as she saw her shishou and her teammate crumble under the pain of the loss. She'd had no idea how to console them and her worry had been clouded by the overwhelming fear that the powerful Sannin had been defeated by a power that was determined to come after her teammate next. She hid that terror behind a steely determination to do everything in her power to protect them and that's how she'd coped.

By the time Pain indeed attacked Konohagakure in search for Naruto, she'd already had some real experience with despair. But the memories of that time still hadn't compared. The chaos and random destruction, the confusion and carnage at the hospital before Pain decided to level the village to the ground completely… and then, Naruto appearing. The surge of hope and relief when she witnessed he'd become so powerful wiping the floor with the Pains using sennin-mode.

And then, the absolute horror of Naruto being pinned down, Hinata's desperate sacrifice and Naruto giving into the abandon of the Kyuubi's power… She'd somehow kept her wits about her and ordered everyone to evacuate while assisting Katsuyu in healing Hinata and trying to find a way to contact Yamato. Even after Naruto had saved the day and she'd indulged in Konoha's sudden hero worship of Naruto, the absolute joy was short-lived.

Organizing the rebuilding of Konoha with her shishou in a coma while dealing with the information that Shizune and Kakashi had been among the people that had been revived by the strange light after the storm of Pain versus the Kyuubi had almost crushed her. She'd dealt with it by not acknowledging what that meant. Even then, she'd had the scare of losing her sensei before, one of the most prominent memories being that one time he was to sacrifice himself in order to take down Hiruko. But it wasn't something you could get used to. She didn't allow herself to acknowledge that it ultimately meant that Shizune and Kakashi had actually died. She didn't want to _know_. They were alive and that was all that mattered.

There had been enough to occupy her thoughts anyway: the elders and the Daimyo giving up on her shishou and appointing Danzo as Hokage of all people. Then learning Sasuke had not only been declared a missing nin, but also the reasons behind that decision. Before that day she never considered that Sasuke had actually betrayed them. But he joined the Akatsuki, the very organization that had just destroyed Konoha and was after Naruto.

Sai had pushed her over the edge back then, with his accurate words slicing through her walls that had been up firmly enough to carry her through those days. And then Shikamaru confirming what her brain had tried to avoid. Even her heart started to accept at that moment that Sasuke didn't want their bond back even after fulfilling his revenge.

Again she'd steeled her heart and then she determined to be the one to take on that particular pain. To be the one to protect Naruto this time. So she manipulated her friends and went after Naruto. A part of her knew she couldn't have stopped his stubbornness, and so she went in intending to fight. Not with jutsu as she couldn't defeat him any more than a fly could. But remembering how they'd defeated Kakashi together with Itcha Itcha, she went after the only weakness she could think of.

She wasn't particularly proud of confessing like that to Naruto. Even though her heart had been telling her Naruto deserved her love more than anyone else and she actually did have deep feelings for him by then, it was mostly her motivation in confessing that had been wrong. A confession should be about love only. No ulterior motives should've been involved: like blinding him to go after Sasuke behind his back and releasing him once and for all from the burden of her lifetime promise.

She'd fancied herself finally strong enough and went after Sasuke alone. Her resolve waning once faced with him. Part of her – the utterly foolish part of her – had been clinging to the hope that Sasuke could be saved after all. Faced with the proof that Sasuke really wasn't the person they'd known anymore, even more cold and now more or less crazed, she felt the desperate truth that him killing Itachi hadn't cured him of his thirst for revenge. She hadn't been strong enough even though she tried but failed _twice_ to save Sasuke from his evil choice. And twice she'd needed to be saved like the damsel in distress she'd always been, once by her sensei and then by her teammate.

Looking back that had been the first time Kakashi had opened up even a little bit about what he was feeling while in _her_ presence. Up until then he was either a mysterious shinobi who let his actions speak for him or other times a silly man who annoyed her by trying to be cool. Oh, he gave them precious teachings, reciting rules and quoting some of the previous Hokage's wisdom, with a preference for the Yondaime's. She highly treasured all he'd taught them about teamwork and shinobi-honour.

Hearing his regret for failing as a sensei and offering her false hope all those years ago, had taken her by surprise. She'd never blamed him for any of that. On the contrary, Kakashi had – in her eyes – always done everything in his power to keep Sasuke on the right path. He'd even taught him his Chidori, to show Sasuke he could learn to be powerful with their team staying in the village. That had been all she'd wanted back then, so she never even considered to question those actions.

There hadn't been much time to dwell on these new impressions at the time, as again events took place that pushed such things to the background. Naruto and Sasuke facing off, the ominous promise of both of them dying in a future clash, returning to Konoha and cleaning up the mess she'd created with her manipulations. And then getting over the silent shock that her sensei was considered to be the next Hokage.

It had been a great relief when her shishou had finally awakened and at least that part of her life could get back to normal. A short-lived relief as the preparations for war took over her life and the lives of everyone around her. Her free time was spent studying even harder with new and even stronger motivations. Whereas before she'd had Sasuke as ultimate goal even as she tried to get information on Akatsuki, now assisting Naruto was her goal.

Naruto held the key to the slim hope that Sasuke could still be saved, one way or another. And if he failed, it seemed Naruto had resigned himself to die trying. She had to have her own plans to prevent this. For this she had to become even stronger.

Dimly she allowed herself to dwell on the first days of the war. Fighting alongside Kakashi who had been their company's commander. She'd been reassigned to the medical corps after that very first day. A lucky thing in hindsight as she'd been the first to break through the attack of the White Zetsu and offer their Head Quarters valuable information about this new threat.

Amused at herself for simultaneously remembering a more superfluous fact: her first love letter. She'd soon learned that patient-medic infatuations were quite difficult to avoid. It hadn't been the last patient that had approached her over the course of the aftermath in the medic tents. It had also been the first time she'd allowed herself to reflect on the validity of her romantic feelings for Sasuke. Her silly infatuation had bloomed into something less silly over time. And her devotion had been quite real by then, despite her confrontations with him.

The only regret she had now almost 6 years later, was that she had those feelings for a man that didn't exist in real life. The Sasuke she loved was based on an image of the boy he'd been, combined with qualities her desire had attributed to her romantic ideal. Qualities that she'd also admired in other young men around her like Naruto's determination, Lee's devotion, Shikamaru's cleverness, Sai's beauty, Neji's elegance, Shino's silence, Kiba's honesty and even Choji's kindness.

And if she was completely honest with herself, especially the cool and mysterious aloofness of the man besides her now.

Cocking her head slightly to glance at Kakashi she decided the silence had gone on long enough. She knew he wasn't a fan of small talk even while on the road, so she had her own system to accommodate for this. She estimated their time together on the road and counted out the length of the silences perfectly so that she wouldn't feel too guilty in dragging him into conversations. Really, it was timed perfectly fair: half silence, half conversations.

She grinned relieved: time to break the silence…


	2. Aftermath

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 2: Aftermath**

_Period: same year as war of Allied Shinobi Forces_

Sakura glanced at the tent opening before her. Tomorrow they were scheduled to start moving back home. It wasn't too soon for her. She longed to see her beloved Konohagakure again. Even though coming back home this time would be a new experience. She was actually quite curious to see how the rebuilding had come along since leaving for the war.

It had been three months now since the combined Allied Forces of the Shinobi world had faced off the two Madaras and somehow come out victorious. At first it had been just the last two Jinchuuriki's backed up by Kakashi-sensei and Guy-sensei, then the rest of the surviving army had caught up as back-up. After a drawn-out battle, the five Kages had joined them as well. Actually more like four Kages, as Tsunade-shishou had put everything she had into healing her colleagues. It had been the combined and immediate effort of both Shizune-san and herself on the battlefield that had bought them some time to save their beloved Hokage after the monstrous battle.

The ten tails had been sealed in a temple on a flying turtle of all things. The 'real' Madara was safely sealed away, hopefully forever. After that Tobi had escaped to his other dimension. Kakashi-sensei had attempted to follow alone but Naruto had ridden the _Kamui_ getting into that dimension as well. It still wasn't clear what had happened after they both had disappeared but they had been gone for hours. In the mean time, the army had started regrouping and readying themselves for the next attack.

By the time Naruto and Kakashi-sensei were back, confirming that Tobi wouldn't be a problem anymore, Head Quarters had been recalling everyone to base. It was during that retreat that Kakashi-sensei had succumbed, Naruto catching him and carrying him to her. Sakura had healed him immediately but he hadn't awoken. His extreme overuse of the Sharingan had finally taken its toll and to this day Kakashi-sensei had yet to awaken from his coma.

Tsunade-shishou had also been unconscious, though she'd awoken quite soon, only a few days after that last battle. Sakura had overheard her shishou's conversation with Shizune-san. Apparently her fiancé, Shizune-san's uncle, had been one of the pawns used in the Edo Tensei and he'd come to her during the release of the accursed jutsu making her promise she wouldn't join him for quite some time yet. Sakura had cried silent tears, reveling in the powerful feeling that surged through her by hearing the emotion in her shishou's voice and feeling selfishly guilty in her jealousy of the requited love others seemed to experience.

As the weeks passed, patrols had been dispatched to search for survivors on the various battlefields and signs of the remnants of the enemy forces. Except for little skirmishes with a few lone weakened White Zetsu's wandering about, they had yet to find any trace of Kabuto and Sasuke. As far as the intel they had on the Akatsuki, they were the last members still at large. After three weeks of extensive search, they had found the underground with the source of the White Zetsu's power. And the mystery of Yamato-taichou's whereabouts had finally been solved.

By then Tsunade-shishou had recovered enough to be at full strength. That was mostly the reason Sakura hadn't been allowed to accompany the teams to investigate how to destroy or contain the horror that was the Hashirama's Clone. She was tasked to remain at the medic's tents, taking command in Shizune-san's absence, as she and Tsunade-shishou left to investigate. Sakura felt slightly envious that Naruto had been allowed to tag along anyway.

Though 'allow' wasn't exactly the correct verb. If Naruto had been following his own rules before, he barely recognized anyone's authority now. Which wasn't to say he was arrogant, on the contrary, he was still the same old Naruto, actually more humble than before. Only, he'd gotten to be so strong and respected, that no one felt compelled to oppose his will. As long as Naruto's heart and motives stayed pure, Sakura didn't see a real problem with this. Though she vowed to keep by his side to bring him down a few pegs if, no, _when_ the need should arise.

"And that need arose quite frequently" Sakura thought, chuckling and cracking her knuckles.

She had been allowed to attend the full debrief about the situation though, and had been included in the brainstorming in dealing with the problem at hand. It had been a relief that they had come up with a course of action that at least allowed the possibility of saving Yamato first. Sakura had been quite appalled that the first plan had been to just destroy everything without taking any risks of having a new rise of the White Zetsu army.

In the end, she felt satisfied that she just gained one more patient. Yamato-taichou had a long recovery ahead of him. His body had tried to wake up when finally free of the Clone but they had him on coma-inducing herbs for now. The Clone had sapped nearly all of his chakra and lifeforce, in addition he still sported badly healed torture-wounds. All in all, it was again a miracle that they had a chance to restore him and the medics weren't going to spoil that chance by letting him push himself too soon.

She frowned. While satisfied about Yamato's progress as her patient, her thoughts brought her back to why she was standing before this particular tent. Glaring at the entrance she felt her frustration and impatience with her sensei return tenfold. Kakashi-sensei's unconsciousness was the opposite of Yamato's. His body and chakra reserves had been restored in the days that followed his collapse. Now, more than a month and a half later, he still hadn't bothered to wake up though.

At first she'd doubted herself, having Tsunade-shishou examine him multiple times to make sure they hadn't missed anything. Until her Hokage had lost her patience and explained quite abruptly that medics couldn't cure everything. Sakura knew her shishou hadn't meant to be cruel. She felt as frustrated as Sakura with her inability to do more for the 'Kakashi-brat'. But then again, Sakura never felt more stubborn than when she felt helpless.

And her helplessness had reached an all-time low point just two weeks ago, just to have Naruto give her new incentive to feel hope again.

Ending her rounds checking on the patients under her care in the medic tents, she pushed back the flap of her last stop. She always made it a point to check in on Kakashi-sensei last.

"Sorry, Sensei, I got sidetracked getting a black kitten out of a tree on my way. But hey, I'm here now so let's check how you're doing today" Sakura joked. It was her defense mechanism at seeing her sensei so unresponsive on his cot. She didn't really arrive here late, she just kept him last so she could take her time in searching for anything she might have missed that caused him to keep to his coma.

Barely done with her check-up, Naruto joined her inside, catching her weary sigh. Naruto had become quite adept at being less boisterous when he wanted to, so she hadn't anticipated his presence with his stealthy approach. She made it a point of pride, though, to not jump in surprise.

"How is he?" Naruto asked subdued.

Sakura shrugged dejectedly. Naruto was aware that physically, everything was alright with their Sensei. It didn't need repeating.

"If I didn't know any better, I would think the lazy baka didn't _want_ to wake up" Sakura voiced her frustrations instead.

At that Naruto shifted uneasily, which made her glance at him uncertainly. Narrowing her eyes, she looked at Naruto's guilty expression, trying to figure out what was going on. Fear crept in her voice as she contemplated that her frustrated sentiment might be true.

"Naruto, you know something…" She whispered at first, then louder: "Naruto! You have to tell me! As his medic I need to have all the facts if I want to help him! You baka!"

Naruto winced and averted his eyes, staring at their sensei sadly. Sakura knew that if there was a good reason not to tell her, he wouldn't, but, for the life of her, she couldn't grasp what that reason could be and how it could be a _good_ reason.

After a long pause Naruto sighed and glanced up at her uncertainly. Hesitantly he started:

"I'm not sure. I don't know for sure, Dattabayo. All I know is this. If I hadn't forced my way along when he chased after that Tobi-teme that last time, he would never have made it back. Kakashi-sensei was low on chakra, and wouldn't have had enough to come back if I hadn't gone with him. Kurama…"

At this, Naruto held his stomach, looking sheepish for some reason.

"The Kyuubi saved us by giving Kakashi-sensei some of his chakra again so we could get back to this plane"

Sakura stayed silent, hoping Naruto would tell her more. She wasn't that surprised that Kakashi-sensei had attempted yet again to risk his life to save everyone else. So Naruto had once again been too stubborn to let him go, that didn't explain why he wouldn't wake up now though. Naruto seemed lost in thought and not inclined to continue without more prompting.

"There's more isn't there? What happened in there?"

Sakura more or less knew what had happened in the sense that Tobi had been killed and left to rot in that dimension. But she had a feeling there was more to it.

"Sakura, there's some things I can't…" Naruto looked around him uncertainly. Sakura understood. Even if they were now the Allied Forces, and most shinobi started to hope that this alliance would prove strong and lasting, there was still the matter of being cautious when handling sensitive information. All the while her fear increased that Naruto was trying to tell her that their Sensei didn't want to wake up, didn't want to… live?

Naruto growled in frustration: "This would be so much simpler of you could just bump fists with me as high levels"

Sakura glared at him. She had become aware of this 'trick'. First during the last confrontation with Sasuke and lately when she witnessed Naruto and Killer B 'communicate' in their peculiar way. She had puzzled out how it worked through her observations. She was half tempted to bump his fist anyway to prove a point. But she doubted that it would help her. It would only prove how much lower she was in level than him once _he_ was the one glancing inside of her heart, while she would feel or see nothing out of the ordinary. And she wasn't about to let Naruto glance inside her heart anyway.

"Sakura" Naruto said finally, apparently deciding it was worth the risk "Do you remember that first time at the Memorial Stone? What Sensei told us about one of the names carved there? Probably one of the only things of his private life he's told us? And do you remember us wondering where he got his Sharingan?"

Sakura frowned: since when did Naruto talk in riddles? And what did all that have to do with why their Sensei wouldn't wake up? She opened her mouth, but was cut off immediately by Naruto.

"I don't know _all_ the details either, Sakura. And what I do know, I don't fully understand. You know me, I'm never good at puzzling things out, unless they're explained in detail and preferably repeated a few times"

At this she grunted while Naruto grinned and scratched the back of his head in his goofy way before exclaiming a bit more energeticly.

"You're so much smarter than me, Dattabayo! This Tobi-teme, he wasn't the real Madara, right? Then who was he? I can't tell you, but you'll figure it out anyway, won't you Sakura! Hehe!"

Naruto grinned, but then turned grim again.

"I think Sensei is being a baka. He knows we'll talk sense into him once he wakes up, so he'll have to go on and live with his past again. And he's just trying to draw it out as long as possible"

Naruto frowned, sounding determined: "He's just being late again as usual. He'll wake up soon, believe it!"

Sakura felt relief. Over the course of their strange and cryptic conversation Naruto had come to a conclusion. Whereas at the start he seemed dubious about their Sensei waking up, he'd made up his mind at the end that he was to wake up. It seemed so silly to Sakura's logical mind, but still, having Naruto believing things would work out had always an empowering effect on her.


	3. Mindjutsu

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 3: Mindjutsu**

_Period: continuous after chapter 2_

Her real glimmer of hope came a week later from an unexpected source. Biting her lower lip in concentration, she remembered the approach of the Kiri medic nin, Mizumaru. Mizumaru was one of the oldest nins dispatched on the battlefield of the Allied Shinobi Forces. She hadn't had much interaction with him before, as he'd been in charge of a different section of the medics-tents. Though after some inquiries after his approach, she'd learned he was a decent healer.

It also turned out that she'd saved his daughter. At first, Sakura was hard-pressed to remember, as she'd healed too many shinobi back from the brink of death since the accursed war had started. It didn't matter anyway, she had done her duty and followed her conscious and had not saved anyone with the motivation of getting something in return afterwards. As it so happened, Karma apparently saw fit to send her some reward anyway. Mizumaru had somehow learned of their impasse with Hatake Kakashi and had offered her some of his specialist's Kiri medical knowledge.

As it was true that the Leaf's medic nins had proven to be far above the others in knowledge and talent regarding general healthcare, it was also true that some jutsus were developed over time in reaction to certain circumstances. Kirigakure had been known for years as the 'the village of the Bloody Mist' – a dark history indeed – that had left it's many psychological scars on the Kiri shinobi. As such, Mizumaru had developed several jutsus to enhance the recovery of the mind.

Mizumaru expected that one of those jutsus might be beneficial to the case at hand. He'd explained that it wasn't a simple medical jutsu as it combined a form of genjutsu to be able to work with the mind of the patient. Sakura had been overjoyed and had asked Mizumaru about the specifics of the jutsu. While giddy about the possibilities, it had been clear immediately that she had been too eager to hope for her miracle cure.

First the jutsu required quite some skill at genjutsu as well as medical skill. She wasn't just going to master the jutsu in a day. Secondly it became clear pretty soon that there was no way she could let Mizumaru perform the jutsu on her Sensei. In essence the jutsu would let them invade the patient's mind in order to communicate and deal with whatever the mental problem could be. This was a highly invasive and time-consuming technique. As they were scheduled to leave for their respective villages in 6 days, she couldn't hope the solution would present itself so easily.

And moreover… While being invasive for medical reasons, the results would be all too similar to some interrogation techniques. If she allowed this, even with the building trust between the villages, this could trigger an incident she'd rather avoid. Mizumaru luckily seemed as aware of the sensitivity of the situation as her, thus proposing to utilize his free time in the following 6 days to at least try and teach her all about the technique.

Sakura had toyed with the idea of asking a prolongation of their time at the military base, but for some reason she hadn't wanted to draw attention to her involvement with Mizumaru. At least not yet. Luckily her proficiency at genjutsu had helped her in learning the technique fairly quick.

Now, the moment was here. She was to be transported with Kakashi-sensei via the Flying Thunder God technique. Tsunade-shishou didn't want to risk the long trek with an incapacitated and defenseless Copy-nin. The Hokage would follow by normal means with the last of their forces and the few Leaf patients that were still bedridden. Shikaku-sama had already gone ahead with a small group, making sure to scout for any trap. Sakura was to travel with Kakashi-sensei so she could prepare the hospital at home for their return.

Three months of inactivity concerning the enemy was by no means a reason to let every guard down.

She reflected on her previous night. After spending the afternoon with Mizumaru, she had met with her friends in a short goodbye gathering. As they were to travel with the regular forces, it would be a few weeks until they saw each other again. It had been relaxing and heartwarming to have a few moments of careless fun together. And yet still her mind then, had wandered to that afternoon.

Mizumaru seemed very pleased with her fast learning and was confident she would be able to perform her newly acquired jutsu. By any means, he couldn't teach her any more about it – she was to just go ahead and use it. She had thanked the man profusely and squished down her doubts about being able to use the technique safely. As she had been preoccupied with the Mindjustu, she had avoided contemplating the orders she had about traveling instantly to Konohagakure. And right now she was a bit concerned about this new way of transportation.

Realizing she had been staring at the tentflap quite a while now, _again_… she sighed and shook herself.

Berating herself for being silly she entered and quite automatically, she again checked all her sensei's vitals. By the time she was done her shishou entered the tent with Naruto in tow. Behind them two jonins followed in. She recognized Gemna and Raido. The former she had known since her first Chunnin exam. But she'd gotten to know them both at least by name, working as the Hokage's apprentice. They seemed to be longtime friends with Shizune-san.

"All right you three, get in position!" Tsunade-shishou barked at the men. Swiveling to Sakura, she nodded at her apprentice, "Sakura, I trust you to follow up on your orders once you arrive back at our village. I'll be along as soon as possible, so take care until then!"

Sakura standing respectfully straight nodded her head full of confidence, "Hai, Hokage-sama!"

Tsunade-shishou smiled proudly and instructed Sakura to hold her patient up by the shoulders so the travel would jolt them too much. With her chakra-enhanced strength this was no trouble for Sakura.

"Ready?" Tsunade barked.

Sakura observed how Naruto was holding Gemna and Raido, the three men forming a circle around Sakura and Kakashi-sensei. Nervously she tried to remember what exactly she knew about the Flying Thunder God Technique. It was the Yondaime's jutsu, earning him the name of 'Yellow Flash'. It was an instant transportation technique to marked points. She had been under the impression that no one in existence today could perform this technique, but she had been assured that the Yondaime's former guard could execute said jutsu. It just so happened they couldn't perform it individually like the previous Hokage could.

So based on this information, this explained Gemna and Raido's presence, but…

"Uhm, Naruto? Why are you here, they're supposed to perform a dangerous and advanced jutsu here" Sakura asked uncertainly. Granted, Naruto had learned to gain strength in sennin-mode, as well as control of his Kyuubi, in a short amount of time. And once he put his mind to it, he somehow managed to learn complicated jutsu's in a ridiculous amount of time. But it just seemed a bit farfetched that he'd suddenly put his mind in learning this particular jutsu. And she hadn't seen him do anything even resembling training in the months since the last battle…

Naruto grinned at Sakura's doubtful expression and exclaimed; "Aww! Don't worry, Sakura-chan! My Dad's jutsu's perfectly safe, Dattebayo!"

Before Sakura had a chance to understand fully what Naruto had just said, she only had a brief moment to realize the others in the room were snickering at Naruto's exclamation and then her vision went temporarily black. Immediately after she was blinking in the full morning sun atop the Hokages' monument of her beloved village.

"Wha…" Sakura stumbled and was grateful for Naruto steadying her and Kakashi-sensei.

Naruto was ignoring her, though, and looked over from atop the monument at the mostly rebuild village with emotion-filled eyes.

Sakura heard Raido mumble besides her; "Ah, good to be home, isn't it?"

Gemna turned to her smiling, senbon swirling in his mouth; "Well, why don't we take this burden off you for a second and get him to the hospital for you?" poking her unconscious Sensei teasingly in the shoulder.

Sakura passed Kakashi-sensei to them gingerly and set to follow. Briefly she turned to Naruto: "You'll join me when you're ready here right? I'll be at the hospital"

Though her head was full of questions, she knew she could hold them in for a while longer. She had orders to follow and a stubbornly unconscious Sensei to settle into the hospital. She wanted to wrap up all her responsibilities by the evening and go home to her parents. It had been far too long since she'd seen them anyway. Moreover, she was kind of curious about the rebuilding of her home.

By the time Naruto had shown up at the hospital, it was already long past lunch hour. He stumbled out an apology about stumbling into Konohamaru and went on about their antics. Without patience she didn't let him ramble on for long and cut in wanting to discuss what had been gnawing at her since their previous serious conversation.

"Naruto, we need to talk" she cut in seriously.

Naruto trailed off and kept quiet signaling to her that she had his attention. Taking a deep breath, she launched into an explanation about the new jutsu she'd acquired. She had made sure to meet with Naruto in one of the private offices of the hospital. She was confident that only the Hokage's office was more secure to talk freely.

"So, I had been thinking about what you've told me about Kakashi-sensei and what happened with the fake Madara. I have some theories, but I haven't had time to check anything, so I'm still not sure what you were trying to tell me. But I don't think that matters all that much anyway. Whether or not we find out what's bothering Kakashi-sensei, as long as he's in that coma, we won't be able to reach him"

Taking a deep breath she plowed on.

"So I think we need to use that jutsu on him. Make him talk to us and make him wake up"

Naruto blinked at her, not responding yet, so she started ticking off her arguments.

"Look, there's a reason I didn't inform Tsunade-sama yet. You know the elders can be really conservative about all this. Especially when it's with help from another village. You think Tsunade will be able to give us perission just like that? Though it's not meant for it, it could be used as a mild form of interrogation technique. And that's how they'll see it. I don't have clearance to just know about all of the S-class missions he performed, not to mention what he was up to during his ANBU years!"

When Naruto didn't make any sign to interrupt her, she let all her doubts free.

"But I don't care, I just won't search for any of that. The genjutsu is meant to create a safe environment in his mind where I'm in control and I get him to let down some of his defenses so he can wake up again. And maybe we're overreacting and he'll just wake up on his own. But the longer he waits to make up his mind, the more his body's going to suffer. If he stays immobile like this, his muscles are going to atrophy and he'll risk not being the same after he wakes up after too much time…"

At this Naruto looked quite worried. But Sakura had just one more thing to get of her chest as she was baring it all anyway.

"I know it's dangerous. We can't know for sure Mizumaru is really all that reliable. I could hurt Kakashi-sensei with this technique. But I can't just sit by and do nothing like I always do. I can do this. I'm part of team Kakashi and I can be useful, too!"

Naruto finally interrupted her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Sakura-chan…"

Naruto looked at her and then at the floor. He seemed deep in thought. For a moment she marveled at the strange sight, until she saw his eyebrows twitch slightly. The observation made her realize something.

"Naruto… Are you… talking to the Kyuubi?" Sakura asked hesitantly.

Naruto looked up surprised and then grinned while rubbing the back of his head.

"Dattebayo! Sorry, Sakura-chan, didn't mean to be rude. But Kurama had something he wanted to say about this"

Sakura's eyes widened in fear and she couldn't help but take a step back, "Eh!?"

Naruto lifted his arms in a reassuring matter, "It's ok Sakura-chan! We've… well Kurama and I've come to an understanding of sorts. We're friends now, hehe!"

Naruto patted his stomach in a placating way, mumbling something that sounded like "Well, _I'm_ your friend, Dattebayo" with a more rueful smile.

Sakura eyed him uncertainly, but impatience started to tickle her; "Ok… So, what are you two talking about? Do you think you can let me know too?"

Naruto grinned and turned his attention fully to her again.

"Well, I'm not going to pretend to understand everything about this jutsu, but I think I agree with you. If we let Tsunade-baa-chan know about this before we prove that it's safe and it's helping, it's going to be difficult. And then we'll lose so much time again. And well, I know you'll succeed anyway, Sakura-chan, I've always believed in you!"

Naruto held his thumb up.

"Dattebayo, we're gonna do this. So, what do we do now?"

Sakura blinked. Then smiled relieved. She knew she could count on Naruto.


	4. Trial and Error

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 4: Trial and Error**

_Period: continuous after chapter 3_

The following day Sakura went through her routine as quickly and thoroughly as she could. She kept the welcoming home chatter to a minimum at work. She supposed it wasn't doing much for her reputation as a friendly colleague at the hospital, but that couldn't be helped. She had more important things on her mind.

She'd had a nice enough homecoming yesterday evening. Her parents had been glad to see her safe and well back in the village and had been quite relieved that she had been assigned to hospital duty for the foreseeable future.

Her new room was much smaller and more modest than the one she'd had before Pain's attack, but she didn't mind all that much as the only time she spent any time in her room anymore was for actual sleeping, a.k.a. passing out from exhaustion after a day of hard work. She didn't need the frilly things anymore she had treasured as a girl. Well, not as much. It actually surprised her how she didn't mourn the loss of all her knick-knacks all that much.

Sakura was now back in the secure room she met in with Naruto the afternoon before. They'd agreed that she had to practice that new jutsu at least once before risking it on their Sensei. Naruto had offered himself. With the simple reason that Kurama would know if there was something wrong and would protect him. Sakura had the distinct impression that the Kyuubi didn't exactly agree fully with that course of action, but she had no way of knowing for sure. At least she had Naruto's ironclad promise that Kurama wouldn't hurt her under any circumstance.

It was too late to back out now: she was a Leaf kunoichi and she'd made up her mind. Thinking back of the wound she'd had from the Kyuubi's chakra wasn't going to help her any. She steeled her nerves and thought back to her last check-up of her Sensei. It was almost imperceptible, but Naruto's and hers fears may not have been all that farfetched. It was only by reviewing her meticulous notes that she had seen an almost imperceptible decline of his health. She wondered if she was starting to get paranoid, as his current health wasn't worrisome yet…

Maybe it _was_ her imagination. After all, being in a coma itself wasn't all that healthy, as she'd reminded Naruto only yesterday. She couldn't shake the feeling that she was right about her worries though. She'd made the right choice and she wouldn't hesitate to defend that choice even if it blew up in her face if they were found out.

Naruto arrived on time and was thankfully all businesslike. She'd explained everything fully the night before and was relieved he didn't need her to repeat herself. Passing him the glass with the most powerful but harmless knockout draught she knew, she waited for Naruto to settle himself on the futon she'd prepared in the office.

Naruto sniffed the liquid; "Smells horrible, Dattebayo!", then shrugged and gulped it down. He had time to flash her a quick grin and a thumb's up, before he fell back sound asleep.

This was her cue. No point in wasting any time. She had been itching to use the jutsu ever since she'd mastered its technique. Quickly forming the necessary hand signs, she then let her healing chakra flow to her hands, touching Naruto's head with her left hand, and her own with her right hand. Concentrating on a peaceful environment suited for Naruto she envisioned the field with a little campfire and his favorite cup ramen ready to be devoured.

The genjutsu part was surprisingly easy to her. It required some initial imagination and concentration, but once the world was created, it felt quite easy to maintain. It was a strange sensation for her, to be very aware of her real self – concentrating on the healing chakra – while also being 'present' in the genjutsu. This really was going to ask a lot of focused attention. Maintaining this for a large amount of time wasn't feasible.

All right, now she had established an imaginary bridge between their minds, her next step was to push through the mental defenses and invite the consciousness of the patient onto that bridge. All of a sudden she felt waves of loneliness and despair, so much sadness and frustration, a flash of hatred, and then bright fuzziness: an ocean of warm friendliness. Trying to keep her focus while being accosted by these intense feelings, she concentrated on fulfilling the last step of her technique.

"Sakura-chan! Neat, thanks for the ramen!" Naruto had appeared next to the campfire almost the second she had built up her intention of luring him in. This immediate success was probably because he was expecting this – she doubted it was going to be as easy with Kakashi-sensei.

Remembering what they decided upon she turned to Naruto and tried to gauge how aware he was.

"Naruto, do you know what's happening? What we're supposed to do right now?" Sakura asked.

Naruto shrugged and kept his attention in the ramen cups. So Sakura decided to make them disappear. Frowning Naruto looked lost and she suddenly noticed he wasn't the Naruto she knew today. Before her was the Naruto from when they'd first met at the Academy: a much younger version.

"Naruto, I need you to remember. Can you focus on me for a moment and try and remember why we're here. You were going to tell me about the battle in the other dimension? The one with Sensei and Tobi?" Sakura coaxed.

Naruto frowned. Gradually she saw him revert back to his current self, concentrating. He flopped down on the grass and patted the spot next to him. She obliged him and sat down next to him. She didn't have to wait long before he started telling her what he'd observed. Sakura skimmed over the battle parts though thoroughly impressed again by the parts of the battle that the rest of them had missed while making their way to them.

"He called the false Madara, Obito, not Tobi. Guy-sensei too. They both called him Obito. But they were looking at him like he was a ghost. I checked at the Memorial yesterday. I think… Kakashi's best friend that died… I think it was Uchiha Obito…"

Sakura gasped. Uchiha… Her mind was racing. Trying to puzzle things out. While Naruto kept on explaining, she started to notice the clouds in her sky were shifting. Whether or not Naruto was doing it on purpose, his memories were triggering a shift in the genjutsu world. Testing her ability to enhance that phenomenon she gasped and pointed it out to Naruto.

"Naruto, is that your memory replaying?"

Naruto remained relatively calm; "You can see that too?" Concentrating too they both allowed the replay of the memory to speak for itself. It was like watching a hazy movie displayed on her fake sky. She tried to pay the most attention to Tobi – no: Obito.

"I am no one…"

Then there was the part when all of them had arrived to join the battle. Sakura made Naruto skip that part of his memory, as Sakura had been on that battlefield. No point in reliving that right now. Obito hadn't talked much during that part either.

Once the battle had turned in their favor the memory shifted to the part inside the other dimension started. She paid close attention now.

Kakashi-sensei looked wrung out beyond his limits. He seemed annoyed at Naruto for following him. Obito didn't give them much time to converse though. Fighting ensued. Sakura marveled again at Naruto's progress. It was amazing to watch while not having to fear for her life in the meantime.

As the fight progressed, Obito knew it was over. Shouting ensued, Naruto taunting him and trying to make him give up. Obito was yelling about how they'd ruined their own perfect world. He would've made Naruto Hokage. But now they were responsible for killing everyone. Then he had eyes only for Kakashi-sensei.

"Trash! I saw you – you keep on killing your teammates don't you? Hahaha. The great Hatake Kakashi! You left me for dead, but you killed Rin with your own hands, just like you were going to kill Sasuke. You'd kill them all wouldn't you! You stood by when Sensei sacrificed himself to save that pitiful village from the Kyuubi. You won't even protect your pupils. Do you even care that one of them is rotting away while helping in strengthening my army! Hahaha!"

Obito's voice sounded more and more crazed with every sentence he uttered. After laughing maniacally, he started lamenting them destroying his perfect world again. Kakashi-sensei was on his knees, slumped over in defeat.

"You killed Rin! Twice now! She was supposed to come back in our perfect world. Don't you see! We would've been happy! They all would be there with us. Sensei! My Rin!"

Obito had seemingly lost all reason and wasn't paying any attention to what was going on around him. He was moving closer and closer to Kakashi-sensei and Naruto was readying himself to intervene and protect his worn-out Sensei. In a flash Kakashi-sensei's hand was inside Obito's chest though, the Chidori chirping.

She heard her Sensei's voice very faintly in the memory; "Forgive me, Rin… Sensei… Obito…"

He was clutching Obito's lifeless body to his chest. Shaking. Before he collapsed Naruto had been caught him.

"Kakashi-brat" Naruto growled in a voice unlike his own. Sakura's eyes widened: the Kyuubi.

Next to her Naruto explained, "When I let Kurama take over, he can transfer some of his chakra if he chooses to do so. Since Kakashi-sensei was our ticket out of that awful place, Kurama quite insisted to be obliging"

Naruto shrugged at his uncommon choice of words. Meanwhile the memory in the sky dissolved.

Sakura whispered; "You two were gone for hours. What happened after that?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably; "Well, actually. We went and had a sort of in-dimensional funeral ceremony…"

Sakura's eyes widened and Naruto was quick to elaborate; "We checked on you guys first and I left a clone concealed as a Guy-sensei-henge. That way I would know immediately if there was any trouble. But you guys were just wrapping things up. Guy-sensei joined us actually and Octopops covered for us"

Sakura was dumbfounded. How had they managed to slip past the whole army? Well, with the help of two Jinchuuriki's and the Kamui, she supposed it wasn't that difficult… Shaking her head, she decided it didn't matter for now.

"So Obito's the one he's always mumbling about and visiting at the Memorial. The best friend you reminded him of… Do you know who this Rin is?" Sakura asked.

Naruto shook his head grimly, but then grinned; "But I think I figured out who their Sensei was"

Naruto pointed to the sky again; "It was during Pain's attack, when I almost broke the seal and released the Kyuubi", Naruto explained.

And before her eyes, she saw one of Naruto's most private memories. Awe filled her when she saw the Yondaime's faith in his son. The raw happiness radiating from the memory was almost tangible.

And with that, Sakura felt her jutsu unravel slowly. Careful to keep her concentration, she warned Naruto and let the technique end slowly step by step to keep Naruto's mind from feeling the shock of the release. Once she was out she kept her healing hand on Naruto's hand for a little while longer to make sure he didn't experience any averse effect. Moving her hand away, she tried shaking him awake.

He frowned a little but didn't wake. That was actually good news. With the potion he'd received from her, he shouldn't even be responding to outside stimuli for another few hours. Taking out the antidote, she pinched Naruto's nose and made him gulp the foul concoction. Hopefully this meant that her jutsu at least had some effect on the resistance to unconsciousness. Then again, it could very well be just be the Kyuubi's power filtering Naruto's system.

Nevermind, the main goal was to determine if there were ill effects using the technique.

Naruto spluttered in an upright position. Sakura watched him carefully.

"Are you alright, Naruto?"

His eyes flickered to his face and he scrunched up his face; "Sakura-chan! You're crying! What happened? Did you get hurt?"

Surprised Sakura touched her cheek. Well, she had been quite moved by him showing her that last memory. But she couldn't be sure if that was the moment she'd started crying, or if it were just fresh tears now. Wiping her cheeks dry, she sniffed once and responded.

"Naruto, don't mind me, they're just happy tears. Now tell me, do you remember what happened?"

Naruto scrunched up his face, "It's kind of like a dream. But yeah… If I don't think on it, it's like it's flying away from me. But it's not painful at all and I remember everything; I don't feel worried or threatened either"

Sakura sighed in relief, that was the most common side-effect of interrogation techniques – feeling violated. "I think it's because you showed me everything of your own free will"

Standing up, she offered her hand to Naruto to pull him back up too.

"You'll make sure to pay lots of attention to anything you experience from now on and if there's any ill-effect you'll tell me immediately, ok? So we meet again tomorrow afternoon, but then in Sensei's room. I'll need you to stand guard"

Naruto saluted and made for the door. Sakure stopped him and pulled him into a quick hug.

"Arrigato", she then added teasingly, "Son of the Yondaime", shaking her head she let her voice take a plaintive tone, "I always read the Yondaime was this really cool and very wise Hokage. How ever did he get a baka like you as a son!" thumping his shoulder for good measure.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined.

And then they laughed together exiting the office and calling it a day. Tomorrow the real work was to start…


	5. Failing Already

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 5: Failing already**

_Period: continuous after chapter 4_

The next day brought an even more uneventful day accomplishing the routine tasks at the hospital. Sakura grumbled at the paperwork she had to get through. Better get through it now, as it would not improve her shishou's mood to come home to the unfinished stack.

Her thoughts kept drifting to what she was to attempt tonight. She kept pushing away her nerves at the prospect and kept as busy as she could, even brushing up on some medical jutsu she hadn't needed in a while. This brought her to the library later in the day. Inhaling the familiar smell of the stacks of books and scrolls, she felt at home. Being there distracted her enough, as the hour of her meet with Naruto arrived sooner than she anticipated.

xxx

Entering the hospital again, she checked on the available staff. Everything was running smoothly and once she entered Kakashi-sensei's room, she quickly finished her customary health check. She observed nothing she didn't expect and was done just as Naruto entered.

"Ready, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura nodded and wasted no time. Taking a deep breath, she held her hands and proceeded with the first steps of Mizumaru's Mindjutsu. She had pondered which setting to use as the genjutsu-bridge. After much pondering, she decided to use the training field of their first bell test, making sure to make it bright and sunny. She didn't know her Sensei enough on a personal level to know of a better place.

Well, at any rate, she refused to find out if one of the Itcha Itcha books could provide a better setting.

Trying to push through the defenses, she expected similar pain like she had felt with Naruto. She wasn't disappointed: turmoil of pain, anger and loathing overcame her. It was somehow different than it had been with Naruto, though she wondered how both of her team members carried this much hurt with them all of the time. She didn't want to consider that Sasuke and Sai would have similar damaged souls. It meant that all men that were closest to her and whom she had come to care about, carried burdens she couldn't imagine shouldering. Her empathic nature strained at the idea of failing to help them with those hurtful burdens.

It was much more difficult to push through the emotional turmoil with Kakashi-sensei. It wasn't that the emotions were more intense than Naruto's, just that his defenses were up with a steely resolve, unlike Naruto's. First she tried to push through more forcefully, but then changed her mind. It wouldn't do to have him feel she was there to attack him. Retreating gently, she ended the jutsu and looked up in Naruto's direction.

To her horror and equal amusement, she caught him with his hand hovering over Kakashi-sensei's face. "Ne, Sakura-chan? You're done already?" he asked guiltily.

"Naruto! You baka…" Sakura frowned and shook her head. Slightly torn, as she too was still curious about what was behind that mask, she pushed on: "Naruto, we can't… We're already invading his personal space enough. I don't know why he's so adamant to keep his mask up at all times, but taking advantage now isn't fair…"

Naruto was battling down stubborn disappointment, but then sighed: "You're right Sakura-chan. So, why did you stop?"

"Well, I'd like to try something else first. He's subconsciously fighting all intrusions and I want to avoid hurting him before I've even started. I don't know if it will help, but it certainly won't harm him. I'm going to need your help though"

Naruto nodded and complied when she directed him to stand on the other side of Kakashi-sensei's bed. They each took one of his hands and then Sakura motioned to turn to their Sensei.

"Kakashi-sensei? I'm not sure if you can hear us, but we need you to pay attention. Kakashi-sensei, it's Sakura here. Naruto is here, too. We're here to help you"

Making a head-gesture to Naruto she commanded him to say something too.

"Ne, this is very weird, Dattebayo… Ok, Kakashi-sensei. We're both here together because you're our friend and you taught us not to abandon our friends, no matter what. Sakura here has a way to help you, so… just don't fight her alright?"

Shrugging, Naruto glanced back at Sakura.

"Like Naruto said, sensei. I'm not going to hurt you. We've always trusted you, so now you have to trust us, ok?"

Taking a deep breath Sakura attempted the Mindjutsu again; a bit disappointed she didn't feel any difference in the amount of resistance she felt. Determined though, she gently kept pushing through. She steeled her heart for the hurt that soaked her imaginary self, making sure to never waver in her genjutsu. She didn't want the depressing feelings to mar her sunny place.

Dimly she felt sweat beads forming on her very real body in the hospital room. Failing was not an option though, so with some force she gave a mental wriggle and pushed through the negative emotions. Her small victory wasn't to be enjoyed though, as she felt the deceptive calm that awaited her here. Whereas with Naruto there had been an ocean of lovely emotion to bask in, here there was a coiled feeling of calm anticipation.

Carefully, she invited his consciousness to her genjutsu place. Patiently she concentrated on remaining calm and unthreatening, while maintaining the positive environment she wanted to lure him to. For a long time nothing happened. She fought not to let Kakashi-sensei's strange calm feeling affect her.

All of a sudden she felt a shift. Searching the fake training grounds for her Sensei, she couldn't find him. Then surprise filled her. Her sunny world had expanded as she now saw the Memorial Stone, which was indeed next to those grounds, but she hadn't included them in her genjutsu. As soon as she saw this, Kakashi-sensei materialized in front of the Stone.

Elated, she made her way to him. "Kakashi-sensei… I found you!"

He didn't respond to her approach, but bend down to the Stone, tracing his fingers over a name. Once she was close enough, her suspicions were confirmed. He was tracing the name of Uchiha Obito. With horror she saw that her Sensei's hands were bloody and he was smearing the blood over the name repeatedly. Standing behind him to his left side, she didn't know how to proceed for a moment.

"Sensei?"

Faster then she could blink, he'd rounded on her Chidori chirping in her ears. She gasped and froze. Nothing that flashed into her mind provided her with something helpful to do in this situation. Grateful that she was very aware of her real body and that her real body and health wasn't in any real danger, she struggled not to break the jutsu.

Another hand caught a wrist and everything froze. Sakura struggled to process the current situation. The Chidori was chirping just above her heart, two Kakashi's were standing before her: one with the intent to kill her, the other stopping the wrist holding the Chidori. But both were looking at her with calculating gazes. Lightening pierced the suddenly dark sky, and rain pelted down on her. She had lost control of her genjutsu-environment.

Suddenly the lethal Kakashi poofed out of existence, but the other one roundkicked her towards the forest with such unexpected speed that she didn't have time to block the kick properly. He didn't leave her any time to recover and was on her in a flash. Before she knew it, he had her pinned against a tree with a kunai on her throat. Gulping, she calmed her breathing and tried to regain control of her genjutsu.

Kakashi-sensei sensed this though and applied more pressure with the kunai. He clearly didn't trust anything about the situation. Deciding not to anger him further she tried to remain as calm as possible and looked him straight in the eye.

"Who are you!?" he growled.

Incredulously she started to worry: his memory had been affected?

"Kakashi-sensei, it's me, Sakura! Don't you remember me?"

He remained unaffected. Rain kept falling around them and she felt tempted to just end the jutsu now, but her stubborn streak didn't allow her to give up just yet.

"Ok, please remember at least that you're a Konoha jonin, and once upon a time you had three students: Sasuke, Naruto and me. Sakura Haruno. We had fun times as team 7 even though Sasuke and Naruto fought all the time. You let us enter the Chunnin exams and then everything fell apart. Sasuke left to go to Orochimaru, Naruto left with Jirayaa and then Tsunade-shishou accepted me as her apprentice. But we'll always be team 7. When Naruto came back, we became Team Kakashi. And then Sai and Yamato-taichou joined us. And then everything happened at once. With the Akatsuki and then…" Shaking herself, she decided it wasn't the right time to remind him of them trying to stop Sasuke. Before she could continue he interrupted.

"You're not my student! Why would Sakura search my mind? Who are you! What do you want from me!"

Sakura frowned. So no memory loss, just plain old paranoia… Great…

"Well, you do remember being in the war, don't you? As you were the captain of the Third Company, you just had to be the hero and save everyone, and you overused your Sharingan. What else is new, huh?"

Sakura looked carefully for any change in his expression. But he didn't let anything show. So Sakura decided to just be as honest as she could as he wouldn't trust anything less.

"Look, Sensei. Naruto and I are really worried about you. You exhausted yourself in the battle, but your resulting coma has been going on for three months already. You're not showing any sign of waking up despite your health being quite all right. You're in a coma right now, Kakashi-sensei! I'm only able to speak to you because of this special jutsu. It allows me to make a bridge to your mind so we can communicate and hopefully find the reason why you're not waking up"

Sakura took some small satisfaction that he seemed to be pondering over her words. But this was quickly squashed.

"Nice try. Especially taking Sakura's form. It's very believable that she would be able to use such an advanced and tricky jutsu like you want me to believe. But I won't be fooled. Now, just drop the act and tell me who you are!"

Sakura grumbled in frustration. She started to feel the exhaustion of holding up the jutsu under such circumstances, but she held on for as long as she could.

"Kakashi-sensei, you have to believe me. I _am_ Sakura, and right now, you're in a hospital bed in Konoha. I won't give up; Naruto wouldn't let me anyway. Naruto is here too, he misses you, you know, but you better wake up before he decides to look under your mask. But anyway, I won't give up, so I'll be back here tomorrow. It's possible that you won't remember this – that your brain is going to dismiss this meeting as a dream. But try to remember that you can trust me not to give up on you waking up"

With her last strength she only had time to hear him vaguely, but the menace in his voice was unmistakable: "If you keep playing this game, I will kill you!"

She took care to break the Mindjutsu gradually. She had to try everything to earn his trust. Though when he woke up, she _was_ going to thump him on his head for being so paranoid. Sensei or not.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked carefully.

Sakura growled and punched her palm. She didn't want to risk damaging anything or… anyone. Frustrated she relayed the experience to Naruto. Feeling like a failure, she didn't appreciate the slight smile on Naruto's face.

"What!" she demanded.

Holding up his hands in a placating manner he snickered:

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan! Don't you see? Kakashi-sensei is fighting. That just means at least he hasn't given up. That's a good thing right?"

Sakura blinked, wishing she could feel as confident as Naruto. Wrapping up she checked to see if Naruto was still on for the next day. He seemed surprised she asked, of course.

She shooed Naruto out of the hospital and went to a private office of the hospital. There, she took the time to put everything about the Mindjutsu, what she had done with it and what she'd learned in the minds she visited, on a special scroll used for confidential files. She decided she was going to keep careful records of everything that transpired. That way, if they were caught, she'd have nothing to hide. If Kakashi-sensei woke up and wanted to know what she had or hadn't glimpsed, he could read everything. And if the unthinkable happened and the Council took objection, than she'd have some proof of her 'innocence'.

She was keeping her promise, whether Kakashi-sensei liked it or not.

xxx

AN: Btw the way, guys – I really appreciate reviews. They give me some incentive to keep writing ;D /hint-hint/


	6. Mission of a lifetime

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 6: Mission of a lifetime**

_Period: six years later, continuous after chapter 1_

"Kakashi, time for some conversation…" Sakura smiled when her partner sighed. She knew he only acted annoyed to preserve his image of aloofness. It had taken her some time to notice, but she'd come to know him pretty well over the years.

They had been on the road off and on for more than 2 years now. She had been tasked with a mission of a lifetime. After the fourth shinobi war it had been the opportunity for the shinobi world to finally commit to a more lasting and stable Alliance. In the time following the last battle, there had still been a lot of military cooperation between the several lands. After all, back then it had still not been clear what had happened with the last members of Akatsuki, namely Sasuke and Kabuto.

Who could've dreamed back then that Orochimaru had been resurrected and would pose an even greater threat?

But anyway, back then no information had been uncovered about that, as Orochimaru knew all too well how to hide. Enemy activity was practically non-existent. Most rogue-nins with big ideas were keeping a low enough profile in the face of the military might that had just defeated two Uchiha Madara's and the Juubi.

As a result, the military cooperation was starting to come to an end and it started to feel like the awkward end of a first date. Without the threat of Madara, there didn't seem to be a lot holding them together, except good intentions.

Who had come up with the idea initially wasn't all that clear anymore, especially once it became clear that similar ideas had been formed in every of the Villages. But once the idea was out there, it had worked as a beacon of hope rallying support from many important shinobi and civilians over the different lands. They desired peace enough to want the Alliance to be more permanent. And for some reason, somehow, nobody objected to make Naruto the symbol of that Alliance. It had become second nature to him to have people rally up behind him and follow his cause. Even though he was still as clumsy as ever.

Naturally, it was awkward to have him be an ambassador between the Hidden Villages, as he was by no means a political mastermind. But a political group was formed around him, with representatives of all the villages to balance out their importance. Shikamaru had as a matter of course been appointed his Konoha councilor. From Suna, Temari quickly volunteered to join them. Nobody was fooled about her ulterior motives, though. Kumo had appointed Darui of all people. The political representative picked in Iwa was Kurotsuchi. Kiri had appointed the gentle Chojuro who completed the group.

Shikamaru had his hands full, as half of the members were chosen for their political importance, not political abilities. Sakura swore he already grew a few grey hairs since being appointed that particular job. It didn't help that unofficially Killer B invited himself and his students along some of the time, having Naruto goof off.

She or Kakashi had accompanied them occasionally too, as there was the rare occasion that excused the presence of a medic or an additional 'guard'. But they both had other responsibilities too.

Kakashi was one of the two commanders of the last company formed by the allied force. It was a small enough 'army' and meant to keep the threat alive for anyone looking to revive the Akatsuki. So officially it was to hunt down Sasuke and Kabuto, but in the first years after the battle with Madara there hadn't even been a whisper about them. The Allied Army was kept busy enough though with more random rogue nins trying to take advantage, so when on duty Kakashi was kept effectively away from Konoha.

For her, there had been some changes too. That time had been filled with several duties she couldn't have dreamed herself to be tasked with when she was just a genin. Once Shizune-san announced her pregnancy, Tsunade had automatically presumed Sakura was to be her next secretary. Sakura still held a grudge against Gemna for that reason. If Sakura thought she already had been Tsunade's slave before, she was in for a rude awakening when she took over from Shizune. Luckily, by then, Hinata had been through some life-altering decisions, which enabled her to help Sakura at the hospital and with the Hokage-duties.

Even Sai had been quite busy with his own responsibilities. Tsunade had appointed him as official conduit between Konoha's regular ANBU forces and those raised through Root. She meant to have them blend together effectively and as such put an end to the darker system kept alive in Root.

Moreover, due to the many losses in the war and the new responsibilities of many of the strong shinobi, the mission-load now fell on the shoulders of a smaller group of ninja. Making them all so busy they barely had time to breath and could only enjoy brief and rare reunions.

Almost three years had thus flown by very quickly. Then the whispers of Orochimaru had started, throwing everything they had been building up back into question.

Kakashi interrupted her musings, teasing: "Ne, Sakura, you're awfully silent for someone wanting to converse"

Sakura smiled: "I'm sorry, I was caught up in my thoughts. I was thinking about us reaching Kirigakure in a few hours. I really hope Mizumaru will be there this time. It's been six years since I've seen him and after all, he's kind of been a big part in the realization of this mission"

Kakashi crinkled his eye: "Indeed"

Sakura felt his discomfort but decided to broach a subject that had remained unspoken between them for so long. The other ninjas accompanying them were far enough away for them to have a private conversation.

"Kakashi?"

"Hmm"

"I… We never really talked about that time, did we? … After you woke up, you didn't want to read my report and I never really knew if you remembered what happened … Did you…?"

"Did I what, Sakura-chan?"

Sakura grumbled: she hated it when he called her that. She was almost 23 now and they had been partners for many years now, no need for that suffix. She hated it even more when he avoided her questions.

"Kakashi-_kun_, I'm just wondering if you still blame me for using that jutsu on you"

Kakashi frowned: "Why would you think something like that?"

Sakura shifted slightly closer to him keeping her eyes on the road before them though. She whispered, as she wanted to be sure their guides wouldn't be able to eavesdrop. "I _know_ you, Kakashi. You hate someone coming too close to you. You never let anyone pry into your personal thoughts, let alone feelings. I forced you into a situation where you had little choice but let me do those very things to you. Not only that but because of the success of the treatment becoming a symbol for our current mission, _everyone_ knows what I did to you and _why_"

Sakura still felt guilty for being responsible of putting a dent in his reputation as cold-hearted shinobi. She just _knew_ some of his peers and some rogue-nins must have made him feel like a crybaby over the situation. Or at least tried to make him feel that way. She had never doubted her choice to use the Mindjutsu on him, but she had regretted the unintended consequences.

Kakashi shrugged: "I always tried not to care about what others thought of me. I can't pretend there weren't some uncomfortable consequences to your actions. Though they mean little to me in comparison. What you ultimately did for me far outweighs any of those. I've always been grateful. I hope you know that. After all, you risked a lot just to talk some sense into a stubborn old fool"

Sakura snorted: "Are you trying to make me feel sorry for you? You're neither old, nor a fool … And you're still evading the question about remembering what happened under the Mindjutsu"

"Sakura… If I would've read the report when you offered it to me, would it have contained _everything_ that happened in the genjutsu?"

Hesitantly Sakura answered: "Everything of consequence. I may have left some details out, but nothing that possibly could have been classified Konoha information or anything else majorly important"

Well, majorly important to the Konoha Elders anyway. They needn't know about… She shook her head. There was just too much of a mess associated with that particular memory…

"Hmm…" was all he'd answered.

Frustrated she gave up for now. He wouldn't give in without a drawn-out verbal match and she wasn't in the mood to oblige him. The traveling must be getting to her if she gave up so easily. After all, she had been holding in that question for almost 6 years…

Her mission of a lifetime had started after the shinobi-world had more or less recovered from the final confrontation with the very last Uchiha and Orochimaru. It had been a project in the pipelines before that, but it had been on hold because of the new times of turmoil.

What Naruto and his gang of mismatched Alliance politicians had been building were the bonds to forge lasting peace between the shinobi lands. This had been established first and foremost with the continued military cooperation. Secondly information gathering had been revolutionized. This was a very difficult step, as it went against everything the old regime had built for so many decades. Exchanging information freely was unheard of and old suspicions were very hard to get rid of.

It was a work in progress, but the networks built for this purpose had made her mission that much more easy. She also considered her part in building a stronger Alliance the most noble. The first step was the centralization of medical knowledge and then to have it accessible for every village of all the Lands.

By that time Shizune had voiced her desire to return to active duty at Tsunade's side and Hinata had been accustomed enough to the workload which left Sakura free to pursue new challenges. So Naruto had pushed for her to be named the ambassador for that particular project.

She had been in charge of setting up the medical protocols and she'd enlisted Shikamaru's help on how to efficiently use the already existing means of communication for the secondary purposes. After that she was tasked to visit every village concerned to promote the revolutionary cooperation involving the healthcare of all the citizens of the 5 shinobi-lands.

She hadn't been spared the tedious political gatherings with Daimyos and other important sponsors. Though what she really loved was making real contact with medics of all sorts in the different villages she visited. Setting up such a noble network while having a chance to travel _everywhere_, really was a once in a lifetime mission.

Their last journey had brought them straight towards Kirigakure. There they had met with the corps of medic nins sans Mizumaru to Sakura's disapointment. Afterwards Kakashi and her had been joined by the Kiri-team tasked to guide and protect them through the Land of Water. They now finally finished traveling to all villages. They were up for a quick visit back to Kirigakure to report, before they could return home to Konohagakure. This was now supposed to be the conclusion of one great mission of a lifetime, having already finished in Suna, Kumo and Iwa. Hinata had taken the villages in the Land of Fire and she had later accompanied Naruto to the Land of Iron to promote the system there.

Sakura doubted it would be the end after this. Naruto and his team were responsible for building friendship bonds with the smaller nations too. And she had no doubt in her mind that would lead her to extend her mission to those same places. After all, what greater way to strengthen the bonds of friendship and ensuring peace than sharing information, especially medical information?

She hoped to continue this work a while longer and she especially, though selfishly hoped Kakashi wouldn't tire of the constant travel or be reassigned to the military branch of the Alliance. She'd become so accustomed to his constant presence and at the same time she'd grown so tired of their team's habit to take such long breaks from each other. She had no desire to part from his presence. Too often she wondered if he felt the same way about her company.

His current mission – on the surface – lacked any flair. After all, on the surface he was a glorified babysitter for a medic – who in her humble opinion didn't need a guard. Of course, his real task was nothing of the like. After all she was always accompanied by a local ninja-team for protection as well as guidance. Kakashi was to take advantage of their traveling to sniff out any rumors of threats against the Alliance. In a way he was taking over a task of his sensei's sensei.

In short, their travels had been anything but dull – at least to her. It had been the absolute dream: traveling, meeting people, learning new things and teaching in return, building a system to better the lives of countless people and the occasional ass-whooping of a cocky rogue nin alongside Kakashi … What more could a kunoichi want?

And with that thought her fingers brushed Kakashi's innocently enough while walking besides him. She felt that special current go through her and fought her shiver. It wouldn't do to let him know… She smiled ruefully to herself – what more could a kunoichi want for, indeed?

xxx

AN: reviews are always appreciated, thx.


	7. Mission on track

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 7: Mission on track**

_Period: continuous after chapter 5_

Sakura was back struggling to get past Kakashi-sensei's mental defenses. They hadn't weakened since the previous time, but at least they hadn't strengthened either. Last night she'd pondered what strategy to choose and she decided to just be herself. Trying to be too nice or too aggressive would just enforce his believe that she was an enemy impersonating his student.

She decided on a new genjutsu-brigde too. Abandoning the idea to accommodate him, she chose an environment that soothed _her_. She hoped he didn't feel the same aversion for the library as he did for the hospital, though.

Waiting for him to deign to show up, she sat at one of the tables in her fake world. Once she felt the shift she looked up to see an ANBU-agent standing at the end of one of the rows of books. Squinting she frowned and realized it was Kakashi, but not the Kakashi-sensei she knew. He was shorter. She remembered Naruto coming before her younger too. It was a manifestation of the consciousness that she was seeing not their actual body.

So, was he now more vulnerable by being here as a younger self or was it to intimidate her by showing his ANBU status… or did the library just trigger something ANBU-related? It didn't matter either way – they were here now.

"You know, I never wondered what your ANBU uniform would look like. I mean, of course I saw your tattoo, but I guess I never really thought about what it meant… Sometimes… I guess we didn't really consider that you have a life with a past, apart from being our Sensei, going on missions and reading Itcha Itcha…"

He remained impassive.

"That's changing now. Naruto and I are really intruding on your personal space, aren't we? You must hate it. We already figured out who your best friend was and your Sensei…"

He twitched and she continued.

"We don't mean to pry, though, it just happened! Because you taught us to look beyond the obvious… And because Naruto was there, wasn't he? During the last battle… Do you remember that?"

Sighing, as he still didn't respond, she relented.

"Look, I don't know how much you remember about last time I tried to talk to you, but I'll just explain again how we're here"

And she proceeded to do just that.

"So you see, I know you think I'm an enemy nin and like Shikamaru would say, that's really troublesome. But I'm really not. I'm Sakura and I don't mean to pry and I don't want to know anything specific, except why you won't wake up and how we can remedy that"

After her lengthy speech she waited for him to finally break his eerie silence. It stretched out quite a bit. Finally he came closer. He moved so swiftly, she had some difficulty repressing her instinctive reaction. Under normal circumstances, being in the vicinity of Kakashi-sensei made here feel safer than almost anyone other's presence. But these weren't normal circumstances. And he was Kakashi of the Sharingan, famous Copy-ninja and former ANBU. A very dangerous man if he didn't have any loyalties to you or if you weren't an innocent he felt compelled to protect.

Despite her minor recoil, he didn't do anything but sit at the table in the seat opposite her. And then, finally he opened his mouth:

"I can't dispel this genjutsu you have going, but I do have quite a lot of control over it when I wish it. Therefore it seems quite a moronic interrogation technique. That being said, it could be a brainwash technique. Especially if you're a Kiri-nin, they're quite specialized in that. If you're really Sakura, where did you learn this technique? I've never heard this kind of healing being performed in Konoha"

Shoulders slumping Sakura almost grumbled. Trust him to come up with the paranoid theory that fit all the facts…

"Urgh… Yes well, Kiri isn't the enemy anymore, are they? Did you forget fighting alongside everyone in the Allied Shinobi Forces? Well, our job wasn't finished with that last battle. Medics worked together even more after all the fighting stopped. And yes, you're right, this is a Kiri technique. Mizumaru's if you must know. One of the people I saved happened to be his daughter and he decided to help me by teaching me this jutsu. I wasn't going to let him traipse around in your mind – you would've driven the poor man crazy!"

Getting worked up, she decided to let it all out.

"And before you ask, we don't really have permission to work on you with this jutsu. Only Naruto and me know. We were ordered to move back to Konoha with the Yondaime's technique to spare your comatose body the long trek and Tsunade-shishou is still traveling with the rest. Meanwhile I'm under orders to prepare the hospital for the arrival of the rest. Naruto and me decided we couldn't take the risk losing more time, or having the Elders veto everything… So we went ahead anyway…"

Feeling a bit drained, she started to despair.

"You know, Kakashi-sensei. It doesn't matter if you come around and start trusting that I'm really Sakura. If you keep forgetting we met this way and if you're always this suspicious, this could take a long time… I promised you I wouldn't give up, but if I'm always going to have to take this long just to convince you I'm not an enemy nin, we're never going to find the reason why you won't wake up!"

Very slowly his hand went up to the ANBU mask. Sakura's eyes widened when she saw him take the mask off. Several feelings came over her fleetingly, anticipation to see his face, disappointment to see he wore his regular mask underneath and finally astonishment at how young he looked. He looked much younger than Sai! Just how old was he when he entered ANBU? Granted, Sai in a way had been in ANBU since he was a very small child, but he was Root, that was different.

"Just how old _are_ you, Kakashi-sensei?"

The question was blurted out before she could stop it. So much for not prying…

Before her, the ANBU-Kakashi shimmered suddenly into her own Kakashi-sensei and she felt a bit cheated. She would've liked to know more about this younger version… Berating herself she shook that errant thought from her head. Wanting to wait patiently for him to respond, she was dismayed to feel her grip on the jutsu slipping.

"Sensei, the jutsu, I can't hold on much longer. I'll have to dispel it… I'll be back, I promise. Please try to remember next time! Please!"

xxx

Over the next few days Sakura didn't progress further in her treatment of Kakashi-sensei then that second round through his head. She supposed it was a small victory that he remained relatively impassive and didn't try to aggressively push her out like the first time.

His comment about brainwashing had piqued her interest and she'd found some helpful tips in the (real) library. Repetition and idea-association were her current strategy. With the third visit she had started to use the image of her report in her genjutsu-library. She made sure there was always a scroll in front of her labeled "Mizumaru's Mindjutsu" and made a point to draw Kakashi-sensei's attention to it by constantly fidgeting with the scroll.

She didn't try and manipulate him though. She was honest about her intention, as she was completely honest every time she related all the details of how and why they were there in the first place. Sakura hoped that after a while the image of the scroll would trigger his memory and they would have time during their session to do something else than her convincing him. Repetition was the key, so she tried to be patient.

After the sixth time she visited his mind, he finally asked for proof that she was his former student. He wanted her to tell him something an enemy ninja wouldn't know. Luckily Sakura had prepared for this eventuality. She had thought long and hard on it as he should have realized it wasn't as easy as it seemed.

"You know Kakashi-sensei, there are a number of things I could tell you now but I think they won't convince you. I could tell you about the first bell test and how you taught us about the value of teamwork and about the second bell test and how Naruto and I tricked you with Itcha Itcha. I could tell you about how I scolded you for praising my skills in chakra control when I was the first to manage tree-walking, because I didn't want to be the reason Sasuke would be offended.

Or about the countless of times you've protected me against attacks, even once I didn't need protecting anymore and it started to become annoying.

I can tell you all about how I treated your wounds in the Konoha hospital last year. You came back from a mission to the Land of Snow all bashed up. Though you won't even know that to be a fact, as you were unconscious and to my knowledge haven't been told who the emergency medic was at the time.

But the truth is, all these things can either be found in reports, or have been told by Naruto where any passerby could pick up the story, or are known by Sasuke who is now an enemy. So it wouldn't make a difference, you're too cautious to accept any of those stories as proof.

Conclusion, I have searched my memory for a single moment that would irrevocably prove to you that I am who I am, but it's been in vain. You would construe everything I put before you as a carefully researched trap.

So, let's play it the other way around: you ask me any question you think would prove my identity and I'll answer until you're satisfied"

Sakura ended her little speech and was quite pride of herself. Her Sensei gazed at her as if calculating what trap lay ahead of him now, but took the challenge and started firing question after question at her. From details that happened on missions that weren't really mission-related, to how she'd changed hairstyles. The questions were often asked in a misleading way and he sneaked in more than one trick question trying to coax her into inventing an answer about something that didn't happen. She felt she was passing the test rather brilliantly until one question caught her of guard.

"When's your period?"

"Eep! …" Sakura's mind screeched to a halt and she turned bright red. "How… Wha… Sensei!"

Her extreme shock turned to embarrassment and then to anger. Her fist ready, she forgot herself and readied herself to thump him on the head. She stopping herself, though – this was her Sensei, not Naruto! Gaping with a raised fist at the person before her, she was torn in indecision: to hit or not to hit. Her mind was still reeling too much about the inappropriateness of this question and her very real desire to thump her Sensei over the head, to understand the reason for his question.

Sakura must have looked like a right fool, frozen like that.

Kakashi-sensei seemed unaffected by it all though and repeated the question while tapping his covered nose.

Finally understanding the implication, Sakura decided she really hated her Sensei right now. He had been able to smell her all these years! And he was being so insensitive to let her know _now_. He could've just kept being discreet about being able to smell what should be one of the most private parts of her life!

Why was she here again? Why was she helping this _oaf_!

Right, duty, honor and friendship and all that crap…

Shifting her imaginary body back to a semblance of calm demeanor she answered truthfully.

Silence followed for quite a while and Sakura was tempted to release the jutsu right then and there. But she held on for it a while longer. He was going to admit who she was and remember it, because she wasn't going through this line of questioning again!

Finally Kakashi-sensei murmured, scratching the back of his head, while crinkling his eye.

"So I'm in a coma right now, he? Hmm… That seems quite embarrassing…"

Not able to savor her final victory due to her lingering embarrassment and anger, she grumbled:

"Yeah, and you better remember all of this for next time, Kakashi-sensei!"

Ending the jutsu she looked at the unconscious form of her Sensei. Surprising Naruto she reached up and thumped their Sensei's head lightly in annoyance.

xxx

AN: Reviews are appreciated


	8. Scum and friends

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 8: Scum and friends**

_Period: continuous after chapter 7_

Any lingering feelings of embarrassment Sakura might have held onto since the night before had all evaporated. Guilt and empathic pain had been forefront in her mind since the day began. Events of that morning triggered some dormant survival's guild inside her. Her orders from Tsunade-shishou and her own crusade of saving her sensei must've kept to her mind too busy before.

She supposed in hindsight, keeping busy during every free moment of hers with even more medical research, should have been a slight clue that she wasn't allowing herself to ponder on some nagging feelings. She hadn't been able to run from those emotions this morning. A young woman had been admitted into the hospital and Sakura had been called in early to treat her, because of her expertise with poisons.

At first, her methodical way of treating her patients hadn't left any room to contemplate what exactly had happened. It was only after she'd saved the woman's life and informed her parents' in the waiting area of the good news that she started to comprehend what had happened. They'd both been coldly polite, barely able to mask the despair in their eyes. They'd all been civilians, but the war had touched them anyway.

Her patient had been romantically involved with one of the Chunnins assigned to her Company. She'd discovered that she was pregnant, only after he'd departed. When the list of names of the lost shinobi had been posted in the village, now months ago, her lover's name had been among them. Her patient had miscarried last month probably due to the shock.

Her poisoning now had been self-inflicted and not accidental.

Sakura was still searching for a way to process what she was feeling as a result, but she refused to feel regret for saving the poor woman. Even though, at the same time, she couldn't fathom having to live with the pain the woman had to go through.

Ready at Kakashi-sensei's side for the seventh time now, she was determined not to let her own inner turmoil effect her. Naruto hadn't made any comment about her being different, so she assumed she was doing a good job. For the first time, Kakashi-sensei appeared next to her at the table in the imaginary library, as soon as she invited him in.

Glancing at the scroll with the writing "Mizumaru's Mindjutsu", he stayed silent. The cold calmness that Sakura felt after breaking his hurtful mental defenses was still present. But for the first time, it wasn't as… coiled… There was still that acute feeling of anticipation, but it wasn't as 'urgent'. Sakura found no better way to describe this slight change from her earlier mental visits.

"Sakura, what are you doing here?" Kakashi-sensei asked calmly.

Cautiously, Sakura explained again. She was precise but left out the beseeching tone she'd used before. As a result, the explanation seemed to take a lot less time.

"We've been here before. It's been the seventh time that I've contacted you this way, Sensei"

Kakashi-sensei nodded thoughtfully. He'd chosen to sit at her right side, so even though Sakura had inclined her head to look at him, he was evading eye-contact by staring in front of him. He'd appeared as she knew him best: in full Jonin-gear with the hitae-ate over the eye closest to her. In combination with his mask, he might as well have appeared with his ANBU-mask for all she could distinguish.

"You're risking too much, Sakura"

Sakura frowned. What did he mean: risking the wrath of the Elders, risking her shishou to be disappointed about going behind her back? Or risking the effects of a new jutsu? He had risked far worse every time he'd saved her from a threatening situation. She owed him her life several times over.

"It's my choice, Sensei. I know the risks and will accept the consequences of my actions"

Kakashi-sensei nodded again.

"Even so, this is still not worth the risks you're taking"

Sakura gasped: "Not worth… Sensei! I know I'm not Naruto! But I still remember what you've taught us as well as he did! I'm not giving up, not when it's finally in _my_ power to do something! _Those who break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are even worse_. Well, I may be scum, but I'm not about to become worse than scum!"

Suddenly the genjutsu-library shimmered for a moment and then everything shifted. A desperate feeling overcame her and it looked like she was looking at her imaginary world with red glasses on. It had shifted so fast and felt so intense that she almost lost her grip on the Mindjutsu all together. She hadn't been prepared for it. While her mind struggled to regain control, to push back his influence on her peaceful place, she felt herself losing.

The earlier thoughts and feelings came back to her and came to the forefront of her memory. Her own inner insecurities took control and her genjutsu bent to it. They were transported into the surgery room she had been in this morning. Mental Sakura was mimicking what she had been doing this morning. It was like reliving a memory perfectly, only this time Kakashi-sensei stood next to her when she was saving her patient.

Her mind flashed them to various other plaguing memories: the battlefields, the medic-tents, helping to make the lists of the deceased. The moment she understood that her mind was desperately searching for at least one memory of the man that had been her patient's lover, she struggled to regain control.

Letting her mind force her heart to feel some of the happiness she'd felt before in her life, she saw the library take form around her once again, minus the red-haze that her Sensei had added to it. Holding it firmly, she willed herself to calm down and make Kakashi-sensei lose his emotional control over the genjutsu.

She didn't have to fight for control for very long. The atmosphere turned back to the calmness: the desperation apparently again locked well behind his mental wards.

"What happened?" Kakashi-sensei whispered.

Sakura almost whimpered at her own lack of professionalism – some medic she was…

"I'm sorry… I… I lost control… That… that wasn't supposed to happen… I'm sorry"

He still wasn't looking at her, and Sakura stared straight ahead of herself too now.

"Those were your memories. Something happened today…"

Sakura didn't feel the question in his statement: he was confidently guessing. So she didn't bother answering.

"You should end the jutsu, Sakura"

Sakura started opening her mouth, but he beat her to it.

"I know, you promised to come back and it's your choice. But you should rest today Sakura…"

Kakashi-sensei shifted slightly on his chair.

"You'll be back once you've rested a bit… And I'll still be here…"

At this Sakura turned her head to his, noticing that he was facing her too. His droopy eye was examining her face. As if fascinated by something his hand reached for her cheek. Frozen Sakura didn't know what was happening. Softly his fingers brushed briefly alongside her nose. Retreating his hand, he was watching as his fingertips were now moist. It was only then that Sakura knew that her mental self must've been crying.

"Does this help?" he asked with an almost clinical curiosity.

Sakura frowns – did _crying_ help? What kind of a question was that. Then again, she'd never seen her Sensei shed a tear – not out of sadness, frustration, relief or even happiness.

"Sometimes" she answered his question seriously.

Had he never cried in his life? What about when he was younger? He must've cried as a little boy.

Kakashi-sensei nodded.

"You should go and get some rest now"

xxx

Somehow, Sakura found peace quickly in her bed that night. Letting all worries go: surviving the past war, Sasuke still missing, her not remembering one of her comrades that had been lost while he left her patient so lost and damaged… Rationally she knew she didn't have control over everything and that she couldn't save everyone. Tonight, in her heart, she knew she was going to save her Sensei though. She knew she had made the right choice and for the first time she not only hoped, but she knew that was just a matter of time before he'd wake up.

He wasn't like her patient this morning. He didn't want to die. He wouldn't care about her, or her health, if he did. There was just something keeping him from waking up. She just needed to find out what it was.

xxx

"Sensei, where do you go when I end the jutsu?"

"…"

"Where were you just now, before you were sitting next to me?

"I was… I don't know. Somewhere waiting…"

"Waiting for what?"

"I don't know. It feels like waiting for some missing intel before a battle, waiting for an opportunity to engage in a fight and discover the weak spot in the enemy's defense…"

The coiled calm… this anticipation she still felt when she pushed through at the start of the Mindjutsu.

"Do you think you're not ready to wake up?"

"I don't know… When I'm here, and you tell me what's happening: I _want_ to wake up. I just… don't know _how_ to wake up…"

xxx

"Kakashi-sensei, when did you start wearing that mask?"

Sakura knew she'd promised not to pry, but they were going in circles. So she was adjusting her strategy. Trying to provoke him, but not too directly. She didn't ask why he wore it, or why he didn't take it off. She just showed interest in _when_… Well, she knew he'd never be fooled. Even so, it was worth a shot to shake him out of his eternally defensive state of mind. Granted, it had the risk of making him even more defensive at first, but she was hoping to poke enough times to get through eventually.

She tried to be as patient as possible when she saw him get up and browse a stack of books on one of the many shelves in their imaginary meeting place. Picking up one and flicking through it nonchalantly, he brought it back with him to the table.

Seeming to contemplate something he slowly brought the book between them and flipped it open to the first page. On it was a picture of a little boy with spiky silver hair being tended to by a woman with long hair pulled in a braid. There was a nasty burn on his right cheek that had been treated with calming salve and the woman was attaching a mask, presumably to shield the wound from sunlight in an attempt to get it to heal without leaving a scar.

The woman was beautiful and appeared to be with child. Was this Kakashi's mother? Did her Sensei have siblings? How come she never heard of any other Hatake? Pushing those questions from her mind, she let her fingers brush the part of the picture that held what she assumed was little Kakashi.

"How did you get burned?"

Kakashi chuckled briefly: "I was a bit overzealous during my first genin training"

Sakura sucked in her breath: genin!? But he was so little? She knew he was considered a genius and he has advanced in ranks much faster than she and her teammates had. But this was ridiculous! What were the adults back then thinking?

As if hearing her unvoiced question he continued: " I just turned 5…"

Distracting herself from the disturbing feelings that statement left her with, she again glanced at the woman in the picture.

"Is this your mother?"

An almost imperceptible nod was all the response she got.

"She must've been so worried about you…"

Kakashi didn't react to that statement, he seemed to be lost in thought.

"So, did you get a brother or a sister?" Sakura tried to lighten the mood.

A loaded silence followed, at which Sakura guessed she'd posed the wrong question to try and lighten the mood. Irritated at her inability to do this right, she forced herself to stay patiently quiet.

"Actually, I never knew. They… there were… complications… She… They were… lost… in childbirth…"

Except for the pauses in his speech, you wouldn't have guessed the statements gave him any pain. His voice was so flat. It just seemed he was hesitant to speak of it because he wasn't accustomed to relate that particular past event.

"I… My father… We… never… Well, there were the missions… Getting ready for the Chounin exams… I didn't… ask… I should've…"

Kakashi stopped abruptly. And Sakura shook her head. He should've what? Asked his father about it? Talked about losing his mother? He was freaking 5 and pushed into the responsibilities of a genin – going on chounin! How did he even survive those exams at such a young age?

They stayed in silence some more before Sakura bade him goodnight.

xxx

Determined to save her sensei as much pain as possible by bypassing some of the relating he shouldn't have to be put through, she used some of her clearance as Tsunade-shishou's apprentice to rummage through the archives.

At the mention yesterday night of his father, she remembered vaguely that he'd been the White Fang. She knew some of the story about his disgrace, but wanted to be prepared this time.

xxx

AN: Btw the way, guys – I really appreciate reviews. They give me some incentive to keep writing ;D /hint-hint/


	9. Life in short

AN: Spoiler alert for all Anime and all Manga up to Chapter 611. Hasn't been beta'd, so sorry for the mistakes.

Disclaimer: don't own anything Naruto related

**Chapter 9: Life in short**

_Period: continuous after chapter 8_

Grateful for her own thorough nature concerning paperwork, she had no problems skipping one day of administrative work for the Hokage's office and the hospital. Thus freeing time for research of another nature at said places.

Sakura dove into this self-imposed work with renewed vigor, armed with the new information. This was the first time she'd go this far in searching for information, going through the archives and hospital records. Mostly because it was the first time she actually had the opportunity: with the Hokage being gone but having official orders to follow up on the Hokage's paperwork. She knew she was abusing her privileges and as such she had to be careful concerning the Elders' notice now, and her shishou's later. So far the Elders saw her as a glorified secretary and weren't suspicious at all and Sakura would worry about Tsunade-shishou once she returned.

She deemed it a necessary evil, as her usual methods had unearthed some tantalizing tidbits that she just _needed_ to confirm. The library being her first go-to place when in need of answers and interrogating the right people being her 'technique' born from experience.

And she'd had some experience, as she'd done the same research about Sasuke and later Naruto and even to some extent Tsunade. If she'd been able to step back and think about it, she would've realized that maybe it was a bit of a sad pattern that she needed to go about things this way in order to know more about the closest people to her in her life.

As her research couldn't end in the library, she had developed no shame in interrogating people who knew about past events in the village. She had learned long ago that shinobi's amongst one another were very tight-lipped and would see through any attempt to subtly fish for answers.

Asking about Naruto had been tricky, especially once she'd finally figured out that there was a law against repeating information about him. She'd unearthed some information about the Kyuubi attack and the casualties, but had never had an inkling that he would turn out to be the Fourth's son. She had a feeling that there was more to the story and fully intended to find out once Kakashi-sensei had woken up.

Finding out more about her shishou had been easier as there was more about her recorded in the library. Fishing for additional scraps of information had been quite easy once she found out Shizune's poor tolerance for sake. Well, only in as much as her tongue loosened; she still had wicked reflexes no matter how inebriated she'd gotten.

Her very first project – finding out about Sasuke – had been tough in a very uncomfortable way, besides the fact that it had been very emotional for her.

There was much to be found about the Uchiha's in the library, as they had been Konoha's police force ever since the demise of the founder of Konoha. Though those had all been quite boring to her as they hadn't told her anything about Sasuke. So she'd turned to anyone who could tell her anything about years past in the village. It was then that she found out that next to the shinobi's and their families, the civilians in the village actually knew quite a bit more than most gave them credit for. As civilians of a Hidden Village they were bound to secrecy, but they never consider this secrecy extended to shinobi of their own Hidden Village. Furthermore, they were more trusting of her and her subtle interrogations rarely made them clam up.

But the slaughter of the entire clan by one of their own had left Konoha uneasy. Nobody liked to talk about it or speculate. She had found out little more than Itachi's name and his affiliation with the Akatsuki. From there on she had learned about the Akatsuki's interest in Tailed Beasts and that Orochimaru had possibly been a former member.

It still hadn't given her what she wanted, only more pieces of very confusing puzzle, though a very important one. Still her focus back then had been Sasuke and how they would get him back.

So, now concerning Kakashi she had a very strong feeling she'd encounter the similar walls as she had encountered asking about the Uchiha's. Asking shinobi's was out of the question: even if by some miracle they were willing to answer, most weren't even in the Village. She wasn't about to burden Kurenai-sensei with her questions and she doubted even Iruka-sensei would know much.

So that left giving the civilians a chance to put her on the right path. Her first choice were always her parents. They always had been quite invaluable in summarizing years of gossip in a short report so she had a feel of where to look or what or who to ask. In case of the White Fang, she had been quite surprised to find out her parents had supplied her with quite a lot. She did feel the need to dig further after her talk with them, but decided finding other civilians wasn't the path to take this time.

So that is how this time she went straight for the archives. In the absence of both Tsunade and Shizune it had been laughably easy to gain access without any suspicion. Searching the mission reports and medical records about Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Obito, Rin, and the White Fang, she stumbled upon quite a few classified scrolls. She didn't dare try and break those seals, but she gathered enough through the accessible scrolls. Based on everything she gathered, she formed her own hypotheses and felt pretty sure she wouldn't be too far off track.

Maybe it was time to try and shock her Sensei with her new knowledge?

xxx

Sakura and Kakashi-sensei were again sitting next to each other, with him strategically placed so she couldn't read what little facial expression would be visible. Sakura was having none of it though. Leaving the scroll in his sight, she stood and went around the table, starting her little speech about what was going on as the usual start of their interaction inside the Mindjustsu. Confident that by now she could be sure he'd need no further prompts to trust her, she continued.

She started recounting everything about his life, and what possibly shaped him.

He became a genin at age 5 and lost his mother and unborn sibling shortly after. His father didn't deal with the loss but was true to the shinobi life style and continued with missions and training his son. While his son was training for the Chunin exams, an important mission Sakume was sent on, failed. It was rumored that the outcome of the mission could've prevented the third shinobi war and that the White Fang had been to blame. A deep shame was imposed on the Hatake-name as a result.

Sakura paused and couldn't help but insert her own opinion at this point.

"I can only imagine what state of mind he was in. He'd just lost his wife and child and was burdened with being the cause of shame to his family's name. He must've felt so powerless. I don't think what he did next was the best course of action. But he probably did it out of love for you. Trying to clear the family name of shame so his son's future wasn't tainted by his mistake."

Sakura sucked in a quick breath to make sure her emotions wouldn't get the best of her.

Trudging on she continued with her hypothesis.

"You started wearing the mask to have a burn healed, but by then the wound wouldn't have needed that kind of treatment anymore. My guess is there were several reasons you just kept the mask since. It was a reminder of your mother's care and love for you and after what happened with your father it helped you hiding your emotions about it."

She didn't wait for him to deny or confirm this.

"You kept on the course your father set for you with the help of your new sensei. Minato Namikaze… back then he must've been just the 'Yellow Flash' as he was not yet the Yondaime, nor Naruto's father."

At this she frowned. When she confirmed who her sensei's sensei was, so much more made sense. Like why her genin-team with the Yondaime's son and the last Uchiha had been the only team Kakashi-sensei ever passed. She used to be quite proud of that fact, but the more she grew up and learned about the past, the more the feeling intensified that she had always been insignificant.

Shaking her head from those pesky thoughts she stowed away those depressing thoughts, concentrating on the fact that she was _here_, proving those preconceptions of uselessness wrong.

"You passed the Chunnin exams at six and went on missions with the Yellow Flash. I think at some point, you even started assisting him in ANBU missions, but this is purely conjecture of my part. By the time you turned 11, you became a full team with two newly graduated genin: Obito and Rin. By then the war had fully developed and your team was sent on missions that were probably ranked too high for genin. I think Obito and probably even you survived those only because Rin was an excellent medic."

Sakura had actually been quite jealous of Rin's medical records. Never once was she hurt but she had healed injuries on the field at the age of 13 that Sakura could've only managed at 15. True, her medical training had started much later than Rin's, who was rumoured to have grown up with a medic, but still, it hurt her pride.

"You were elevated to Jounin rank at 12 and your first mission as such went awry. Obito was lost, his name added to the Memorial Stone and you became Kakashi of the Sharingan. Rin must've transplanted Obito's eye to you…"

Pausing briefly in her pacing she watched Kakashi still sitting at the table.

"After that more dangerous missions followed each other as the war is slowly ending. You and Rin survive the war being paired up into other incomplete teams, until you were sent on a classified mission just the two of you…"

Here Sakura paused. She had no clue what happened on that mission, where it had taken place or what had been the objective. She didn't even gain access to the complete autopsy report of Rin's body as that too had been highly classified. Someone did leave the cause of death on an unclassified report though. The chest wound described there had been too familiar for Sakura not to recognize it. So she hesitated to continue, even more so when she felt the atmosphere grow distinctively more depressing.

Hastily, Sakura continued.

"Immediately after the burial of your teammate you applied for ANBU. By then the war ended officially and your sensei was voted the Fourth Hokage. A few years later you lost your sensei to the Kyuubi attack which left Naruto a Jinchuriki. You were ANBU captain by the age of 18 until at 23 the Third Hokage volunteered you to join the regular Jounin force. As such you were called to be a genin trainer but didn't pass any team until you were assigned Team 7."

Once she'd seen that the scrolls that contained her sensei's 'request' to take a leave from ANBU had been drawn up by the Third Hokage instead of himself, she'd guessed the leave wasn't particularly voluntary. Had it been Sarutobi-sama's intention all along to clear the path and have Kakashi-sensei teach her two original teammates?

"Even though I was there for the rest of it, I was a bit amazed at how much I still don't know. You were still sent on classified missions occasionally, I strongly suspect that you still had ties with ANBU, especially after Sasuke left and Team 7 was for all intense and purposes disbanded. I know you took the time training yourself as we did cross paths once in a while when you checked up on my training as a medic and I tried to get news of Sasuke out of you. The training paid off as you learned to use Kamui."

Sakura hesitated to continue. After that she was there when he helped save Gaara, when they returned from meeting Sasuke with Sai and Yamato, when he tried to sacrifice himself to Hiruko, when he helped Naruto train and they lost Asuma-sensei. And then when Pain attacked and he…

He had stopped her from going against Danzo-sama as the new Hokage, had helped Naruto plead for Sasuke's case and had saved her when she determinedly went after Sasuke on her own. He had almost been Hokage and became the general of her company in the war.

Apparently she'd hesitated long enough because Kakashi-sensei started to shift on his chair.

"Yare yare, Sakura, you seem to know my life's story…"

Sakura blushed.

"So what now, medic Haruno? What's the conclusion?"

Her irritation at his mocking tone was the fuel of her suddenly famous flaring anger. Her fist came down hard on the library table splintering it in two.

"_Shānnarō_! Sensei! We need to get to the point here. Any day Tsunade-shishou is going to get home and chances are I will be found out and then there's the real possibility I'll be barred from being your medic. Your body is reacting to the Jutsu as you've been more responsive and I'm seeing positive signs that you might wake up, but evidently we are still meeting in our minds and as much as I enjoy you making fun of me, I'd rather you'd do it for real!"

Kakashi only blinked at her, all traces of sarcasm gone.

xxx

AN: Btw the way, guys – I really appreciate reviews. They give me some incentive to keep writing ;D /hint-hint/


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